Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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