i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
