Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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