Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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