Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
