4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude i'm inner monologue high
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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