I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
