I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
