How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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