Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
