Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
they need to just BURY HIM!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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