If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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