as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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