Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
