I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
