i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize