Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
