last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
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he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
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I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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