1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
