I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
