I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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