i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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