All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
