She said her name was "party"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
