FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
