no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
