i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
