ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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