You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
