I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
