i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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