He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
