Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
