I bet he comes in French.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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