Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
