And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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