I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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