Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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