One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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