you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
