Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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