I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
