come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
