You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
