I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
