I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize