just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
