I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize