Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
