when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
