I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
