sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
