we made out on top of his cat.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
