Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
