...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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