Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
