i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My butt remains clenched, sir.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
