God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
