Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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